JHHH - you so occupy such a specific niche in the templates of my life narrative it's uncanny how much our dynamic echoes that of mine and Richard I've not been so sexually hooked on anyone since well Richard I guess you encapsulate a detached brusque and unfettered animal manliness that trigger something profound down below it's so unnurtured intangible oh plus I also love the shit out of you but have sporadically detached myself from the association for sake of spiritual inner strength because people die and dependence kills nevertheless I hope I've been good for you and not totally fucked your head up come to my funeral if only for the free alcohol and tell people to cheer the fuck up and stop being so selfish it's my choice or am I being selfish who cares, save it for a posthumous debate I'll see you in the queue for the big black harp down under amigo love and etc